Weddings are, in the eyes of many, bastions of tradition and for lots of people, there are certain rules that must be followed: the bride must wear a white wedding dress, the ceremony must take place in a church and the couple must cut a cake, the groom must kiss the bride etc. But of course, many millennials are breaking with tradition, ripping up the rule book and redefining what a wedding should look like. For some this means ditching the white wedding dress and having a ‘cake’ made out of cheese, and for others it means saying their vows up a mountain or on air and in most cases, they are literally underwater for the vows.
Wedding Outside the Church
It is becoming increasingly common for couples to lean away from traditional church weddings in favor of low-key formalities at a registry office, often followed by a more elaborate blessing in a unique location. Couples are constantly pushing the boundaries in terms of where their wedding ceremony or blessing is taking place and this in turn helps them to infuse their own personality into their wedding.
Pros……
- You can bring whomever you want to perform your ceremony.
- You have the fun choice of infusing your personality into your wedding and making it your own.
- Wear whatever you want to your wedding: green dress, blue dress, off shoulder etc.
- You can hold it anywhere indoors and outdoors.
- The ceremony and the reception can often be held in the same location. Convenient, straightforward, and fewer people to get lost (it happens more than you think) …
- You don’t need to submit a date for the approval of the pastor or wait for an open Saturday (as the case maybe).
- You don’t need to go for any medical tests to ascertain pregnancy or not (which is a common trend in most churches).
Cons.….
- Unless you are wedding at your house or the park or an open ground, it is expensive to wed outside the church so be prepared for the expenses of this choice.
- You will need to find a pastor or a priest that is willing to perform the ceremony outside the church.
- Weather and environmental effects is a major deal here. Especially for those having their weddings outside.
- The Officiant needs to be paid, that is another expense.
Wedding in the Church
Having your wedding in a church embodies all that tradition says it should be which entails going along with all the ideals, codes and conducts of how the religious traditional wedding should be.
Pros….
- Cost is usually low to medium range.
- Infrastructures are already in place, an altar is already present, musicians and instruments are accessible with an organ and/or piano usually, rooms for the bride and groom to get ready in, and sufficient parking!
- To save cost you can have church ushers act as ushers for the day.
- You don’t have to rent chairs because seats are already at the church.
- Church decorators can arrange the church and reduce costs.
Cons….
- Customization options are limited. While you can bring in flowers, candles, etc., most churches will not let you transform the sanctuary to fit your vision.
- You may not get the preacher / officiant you want. Some churches are fine with “outside” pastors conducting the ceremony, others require you to use their pastor. This can make things complicated if you have a family friend who you have always wanted to perform the ceremony.
- Music!!!! Most churches will give you a set list of wedding songs to choose from and that is it (keep in mind that most have a rule that only the chapel’s organist or his/her designated substitute can play on the organ for wedding ceremonies)! You cannot bring in your own music and you cannot play secular or pre-recorded music. Some will let other musicians audition, so check far in advance to see if this is an option.
- If you are not a member of that church, they ask that you do not make your reservation for the ceremony site till 3-4 months before the wedding. Even church members have to submit dates on time if not they risk it being rejected and shifted.
- You can only wear what the church allows you to wear.
We understand that this is a big decision! Ultimately, do what you feel is right for you and your future spouse!
We are right here to take the stress off you. You can click herhe to chat with us directly. Our bridal shop is at 8, Ajayi Aina Street, By Deeper Life Church, Ifako, Gbagada, Lagos.
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